


Vessel

by i_n_f_e_r_n_o



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst without resolve, Heavy Angst, I wrote this instead of doing schoolwork, Mental Health Issues, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tommy needs therapy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 00:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30080508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_n_f_e_r_n_o/pseuds/i_n_f_e_r_n_o
Summary: “Who was he…? He now knew— he was nothing, just a vessel.”In which Tommy languishes in a world full of too many fears, relentless wandering, and the emptiness of being a sheer vessel to his trauma.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Vessel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rawm_Sauce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawm_Sauce/gifts).



> (If you have read our profile, you would know this account is ran by multiple people. Ashton wrote this work in specific.)
> 
> Okay...! I am very very new to the Dream SMP and am not caught up so I apologise if this fanfic is inaccurate in any way? I hope it’s not... but I’m sorry if it is!
> 
> This fanfic sort of means a lot to me... I kind of based it off my own experiences with trauma, in a way. I wanted to write something angsty about Tommy’s relentless trauma and the effects that come with trauma... I hope this comes across as meaningful to those who read this!
> 
> Special thanks to the amazing Rawm_Sauce for getting me back into the Dream SMP and helping me with this work (:
> 
> Hope y’all enjoy,  
> \- Ashton

The full moon shone high up in the sky, beautiful as per usual. Tommy had always loved the moon, which was a bit strange considering how different he was from it. Of course, in physical appearances, the two were nothing alike. In principle, it was synonymous. The moon shone high and free for all to see. Everyone knew what the moon was; a satellite for Earth. But no one knew who Tommy was; not even himself.

As a tiny child, Tommy was completely and utterly terrified of the dark.  _ Many things have changed since then,  _ he thought as he sat on the grass, observing the night sky. Many things scared him now, but not things like the dark. Not childlike things. Things that truly scared him were men, small, dark spaces (but not big, wide-open spaces like outside), potatoes, getting hurt, et cetera et cetera. The list went on and on. Tommy himself couldn’t keep track of it.

Now standing up, Tommy turned around to head back inside, mind still wandering just as much, if not more than it was when he first began his strides.

In times like these, when Tommy’s mind wandered and wandered to things he so desperately wished he could just forget, he tended to pace about uncontrollably. It was a nervous habit, he thought. He would wander about the house; upstairs, downstairs, in and out rooms, in and outside. His mind would wander and so would his body. Occasionally, he would pause for a moment to sit or stand still to rest, but never for too long.

Now back inside the house, Tommy began his wandering again. Flashbacks in his head and an ache in his heart, he paced the length of the kitchen. Soon, he was barely aware of where he was in his house, only that he was pacing throughout it.

Stopping for a moment to catch his breath, Tommy took a second to look around him. He was in his downstairs bathroom, looking into the large mirror above the sink. Who was the boy standing in front of him? Who knew. Tommy sure didn’t.

Stepping out of the bathroom and beginning his tread once again, Tommy gave a brief glance out the sliding glass door to his right. The sun was peeking up slightly from the horizon. 

Dawn… it was already dawn? How long had he been at this?

The familiar sensation of tears welling up in his eyes overtook Tommy as he leaned against the door and slowly slid his body down it. He placed his face in his hands momentarily before being grimly reminded of one of his many other fears: Not being aware of his surroundings.

Who was he…? He now knew— he was nothing, just a vessel. His body was simply a container for an empty mind, empty heart, empty soul. Tommy was but a shadow of his former self. All that ran through his mind was trauma, trauma, trauma. It had consumed his entire being, and now he was just a vessel for all the thoughts, sensations and fears that came with such a thing. Tommy was trapped forever in a world where the past and present had no visible distinction; it was all one in the same.

As the sun rose and shrouded the world with light, Tommy stayed in the same position, convinced he would never stop weeping.


End file.
